Summer sux?

I guess it's safe to say that summer is here and I don't feel good. I'm not excited. It's almost the opposite. Logically it's going to be a different summer from the one I had last year. But somehow, I just can't get myself to be jubilant. There always seems to be reasons for me to be anxious even though I have 90% of my life in the next few months figured out.

I have a place to stay. I have a job, a career! It's a small student job doing peer advising and helping freshmen register for classes but Its importance and potential have been much bigger than any of my previous jobs. I have worked in a grocery store, a supermarket, a dinning hall and recently in a residence hall. Some of those jobs are bad. Some of them are good. I've met good people so the jobs weren't all together a waste. Plus, of course, I got paid.

But with this new job, there are so much potentials. I'm worried about looking professionally. I'm worried about not being able to do minimal office work even though I've done just that. So I guess one source of my anxiety is new job. I'm afraid I would show up to work and they'd say they'd made a mistake hiring or that they'd had no need for me any more. I'd then hate not knowing what to do. It's quite silly but I have dreams about it. I think I must have really wanted this job so bad.

So we have one source of anxiety figured out. Another one I think is my living arrangement. Living with a friend always carries the risk of hurting the friendship because there is simply no perfect harmony among two different individuals. Hopefully we both have luck on our side. The other issue is that I'd need to move out once summer ends. August 31st to be exact. Move to where? I've got not a clue. I'm still looking. As if I can't understand the gravity of "I'm still looking", people around me make it their personal crusade ,each time they hear it, to tell me that it's bad and I should hurry up. Last thing I need is people asking questions and telling me to hurry. How is that helpful? Thanks for nothing, friends. *sigh*

With moving and having to buy stuff, I feel horrified and sad. I really can't afford to buy nice furniture and I really can't live with ugly furniture! Just kidding. I'm comfortable with garage sales stuff but I'm only horrified because I know I might have to transport them by myself and transporting heavy load of shitxxx isn't exactly my forte.

Hopefully my prospect becomes better. But i doubt it. I'm purposely and willfully being negative.
I'm going to sign off now. My mom just told me to god bed. I'm 21 and It's only 3.18am, for Christ's sake. I must leave home asap.